Are We Doing Wrong By Our Son?

Are We Doing Wrong By Our Son?

Jack has always been a bundle of energy, right from the moment he was born. As soon as he could move he was off and hasn’t stopped since and to this day he doesn’t sleep until he literally crashes out. And we love him for it. He wouldn’t be our boy if he didn’t give us a fright at least once a week, and he daily gains one scrape or another.

At three months old

A bump on the head at eleven months old

But lately I’ve began to wonder if he really is just mischievous, or is he naughty?

There have been several incidents over the last year that have left me wondering about the behaviour of my son. About nine months ago he went through a spate of causing damage throughout our house, including smashing a £500 TV. Not long after that he ran across the road whilst my back was turned, fortunately it was empty. Following that he nearly split his head open running across the house and most recently he leant out of an open window on the first floor of our house and nearly fell out.

Today has summed up the naughty side of him – on leaving a friends house he literally screamed, kicked and pushed me whilst I tried to get him dressed (he has a propensity for being naked, but it was raining outside so I needed to dress him). It took myself and my friend to get him back in clothes and I was both shocked and mortified by his actions.

It has definitely made me take a step back and reflect. I’ve never felt like we have done anything different with our children, so when Jack plays up to us it is just his nature. He has no fear, no concept of danger and he doesn’t listen. It’s endearing, most of the time. And it’s him. But should we be doing more? Could a time come when the worst happens because we weren’t firm enough with our discipline and didn’t teach him right from wrong when we should have done. Are we doing wrong by him?

I don’t ever want to beat the spirit out of my little boy and I am extremely conscious of coming down on him like a ton of bricks and doing just that. Not to mention that if he sees me losing my control then what am I teaching him? That in a situation that angers you just scream, threaten and let yourself go. Somehow I need to find a balance that lets him know his behaviour cannot continue, without beating him over the head with it.

But there is that fear that we may be letting his stubborn side win a few too many times and that we are raising a boy who does not understand boundaries and may one day get himself or someone else seriously hurt. I would never forgive myself for not stepping in when we could and preventing exactly that, but I really don’t know what we can change to really make him stop and listen. At the end of the day he is only four, and isn’t this the way of many four year olds? I’m not quite sure what the answer is. I just know that days like today are physically and emotionally draining and I can only take so much.

Just like any parent, we absolutely adore our boy and would not change him for the world. I just do not want to fail him at a time when he needs our guidance.

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