This year Splash Direct are launching a blogging competition to celebrate World Toilet Day and raise awareness for global sanitisation. They have asked us to share our worst toilet stories so here is mine – beware, it’s not pleasant!
Not so long ago H was in the throws of toilet training. It was a long and painful experience for us all and we went through many an accident. This day in particular involved quite a traumatic one.
H announced she needed a code brown, however unfortunately announced it a little too late and within seconds told me she’d done the nugget her knickers. I panicked – we were in the front room on beige carpet and she was trying to pull the soiled underwear off! I managed to catch the odourfull underpants as they dropped to the floor, the fudge brownie delightfully nestled within. I rushed to the toilet, trying to contain said log, however could feel it gradually slipping. I managed to get to the bathroom just as the steamer dropped – onto the Lino and bathmat. At least both could easily be cleaned.
However what I didn’t mention is that Baby J loves the bathroom and was happily trotting behind me. Before I could scream he had paddled the doodie all the way around my bathroom, thinking it was hilarious. I just stood there aghast not knowing where to clean first, the baby happily trotting caca footprints around my heels! Whilst I pondered the dilemma the dog then nipped in, ate a rogue loaf and nipped back out again. I gagged, nearly adding to the mess myself.
Next ensued a scene that would have easily fit into a carry-on film. Whilst I placed H firmly on the porcelain throne, I set to chasing Baby J around the room, trying to avoid the trail of doodoo left in his wake. Once I had him in a rugby grip, his dirty feet plastering my back in the chocolate delight, I grabbed a packet of bathroom wipes and attempted to clean the mess up. To add insult to serious injury my finger went through the toilet roll, resulting in a fingernail full of dookie.
After much hollering, gagging and reams of toilet roll I managed to clear up the crime scene, bath the baby and burn my top! Needless to say poop is not my favourite word!