Of late I have had the feeling that I am quickly losing myself. Not so long ago I had a full time job, enjoyed going out and dancing with my friends, spent the weekends laying in with my hubby and our pooch until midday then watching whatever rubbish TV I wanted or going out for the day. Now, as a stay-at-home Mum, I don’t have a career to define myself by and have very little time to follow any of my own interests, so it seems all I am is ‘Mummy’. Don’t get me wrong, being a Mum is a fantastic job, I adore my little girl and I am very fortunate that I can stay at home with her instead of sending her into childcare. But when it gets to the point that I am saying ‘ack’ (our word when she starting routing through bins or sucking shoes) to myself when she’s nowhere near me, or going to bed singing a medley of Disney Channel tunes, I begin to wonder if I am losing the plot.
|Me & my sis in the pre-baby days|
Now Holly is walking it has become even more difficult to just have a minute. I can’t even take a trip to the porcelain throne without her screaming for me, toddling after me to pull the toilet rolls to pieces or trying to sit on my knee! Housework fell by the wayside long ago and my husband is lucky not to be greeted by a crisp butty every night on his return home. Never mind trying to find a minute to have a bath, read a book or have half an hour to just lay on the bed and be me.
So the question I would like to pose is this: how on earth is it done? How do you balance your life when you are on your own and have no choice but to be Mummy all day? I sent a cry out to my blogger friends on Brit Mums and found quite a lot of Mums asking the same question. It seems this is a topic that hits home for many of us:
Mamacook believes the key is to get your housework done in five minute snatches and use larger downtime, such as naps and bedtime, just for you. In fact she discusses this in her post “How to get an extra hour in the day.”
Peggy from Perfectly Happy Mum says she claims an ‘only me’ day in order to regain some sanity. “I’d leave on a Saturday morning. The main rules were: I leave the house when I want, return home when I want, do not call me unless the house is burning down and I would not look at kids stuff in the shops, just grown up girlie things. I loved these moments.”
Aqeela from Aqeela’s House really seems to have struck a good balance and claims she never felt like she lost herself. “Too many mums feel like they have to put themselves on hold but why? Incorporate the child into everything you enjoy in life and it is a lot easier. I treat my son like a friend, now it feels like i finally have a friend to take part in my interests and learn about all the things that I enjoy learning about.
So it seems the key is to try and balance my life a little better and try not to feel too guilty about asking for time off when required. Do you have any tips on how to find time for yourself? Let me know!